I have always found writing quite easy. Not necessarily concise, academic writing, but writing nonetheless. Over the past four years of study (yes, it has taken me four years to chip away at my masters) I have become better at academic writing. I have started to "get it."
However, sitting down over the luxuriously long Labour Weekend, I found myself staring a the computer screen, write barely one sentence every few minutes and with long pauses in between. Part of the problem is that I don't like to redo things - I'd rather get it right the first time. And yet, writing something, at this stage of the year, is better than nothing.
Last week I got an email notification that one of my supervisors had been commenting on my Results chapter. I nearly fell over when I saw that she had made more than 50 comments on this! I sat down, Friday after everyone had left, and tackled some of her suggestions. Every single one of them made sense.
There are a few times on this journey when I have had to remind myself not to freak out. I think that is par for the course for people who are attempting study alongside full time work. And work that I care a huge amount for.
Without going into every personal detail of my life, the past five years of living and working in Auckland have been some of the toughest. I have had a lot happen during this time, personally and professionally. The latest being a much wanted pregnancy. I'd like to think this puts things in perspective, and I think it will in the long run, but from where I sit now (at the end of a long weekend of writing), I just have to get through it.
I have made this sound negative, and it wasn't supposed to. We all get caught up in our lives from time to time, and sometimes we get pretty bogged down. I wrote a post a while back about remembering the things that are important - the people, the real reason why you do things, the fact that I'm not stuck in an office all day, and I get to do a job that I am so passionate about.
At this time of year, I get a bit nostalgic and think about what a wonderful class of students I've been able to teach. That is the reason why I do it. And if I become a better teacher for doing all this study - then it is completely worthwhile.